I was on my bed, thinking bout what I could've achieved all these years. I was nearly in tears thinking bout all those years I've wasted. I'm slowly loosing my confidence, I already do feel worthless.
When I was four, my parents bought me my first encylopedia,and we read the whole book together alot. I grew fond of the book, I could classify all sorts of animals when I was four. It was something most of my friends couldn't do till 10.I was also fan of Dinosaurs, I could name almost every dinosaur that walked Planet Earth, I could even tell you what they ate and where they lived. When I was five my dad thought me maths,and I was good wen it came to memorising my times table. My parents wanted me to be more advanced than my friends, but it came with a price though. Lets just say I hated their punishment wen I got their questions wrong.
Primary school sucked like shit for me. First of all I hated my teachers and the stupid textbooks. But I had two good friends who made school a little fun. I did shine academically in Primary school, but i slowly lost my shine wen I entered High school.
Once again I hated my teachers in High School. I didnt ever understand the words that came out of their mouths. I was surprised my friends did, and they scored a HELL lotta A's. Jealousy was in the air but I kept my cool, I began to understand It's a whole new world now.
To be honest with you my dear friends I love learning new things. It gives me joy learning something new. For example, I could be glued to my TV set learning bout the properties of a black hole and Einstein's String THeory. Knowing something new made me happy. And I am fond of trying out new things, there's so many things I wanna do, allthough I have done lots, It aint enough. I also love to write, my writing skills were better. I wrote tons of articles,mostly about what I wanna see happen to this world.Slowly, I feel im becoming dumber by the second, its like im going through De-Evolution.
Coming back,to when I was in high school, I did stand out at times. Usually at soccer,disciplinary problems and my writing. But that wasn't not enough, I needed to gain the influence of my friends. Without their influence how could they believe in what I believe in. So I slowly started making fun outta myself,I did embarassing acts, and it sure made my buddies laugh. I didn't give a damn about my dignity, seeing the happy and not thinking bout their sadness,anger and pressures made me happy. Slowly I gained my popularity, my friends looked up to me, cause I always knew how to make them happy.Although they looked at me as a clown and didnt take me seriously but at least, They even looked up to me for the amount of General Knowledge I had in my head.
Till the day I met her my life turned around, all those things I wanted to do,wanted to achieve disappeared. She was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I made a vow a long time ago to never date an Indian,but she changed everything. She was the most unique person I knew, and gosh when we talked, we never ran outta things to talk bout. She was the first person to take me seriously, and I gave up my dreams and my priorities to thank her, although she didnt want it. She was the first to show me what love is, and gosh it felt good.
But of course things wen sour after a while, and she broke up with me. She did ask me back but I was scared, and I had to restore my faith. I basically loved her more than God Himself. So i knew it was wrong and took the opportunity to Love him more than anything in the world before I love her again. But I came to late, and she got together with some Bozo named Novin. Doesnt my name sound sexier? Arjun? First and foremost finding her was like finding a needle in a haystack, now my needle went through my heart. Each day I imagine the things they are doing, each day I fucking shed buckets of tears. After that, I lost confidence in everything, I wasn't a good debater anymore, I couldnt do lotsa things. But I did gain 20kg.
Now i'm in college,probably gonna pursue a career in law. Apparently, Novin wants to be cook. So she left a lawyer to be with a cook.My college mates are so much fun to be with, and they make everyday fun. Studying at this level is much more fun,thanks to the new topics im learning about. It may seem childish,but I wanna be a leader for this country. Im gonna make n example to the world,countries would no longer care bout the borders that separate them. No more innocent children dying. No more animals loosing their homes. And no more children dying because of our ignorance. But that's just a dream. Hopefully my confidence comes back.
In, conclusion my life was bumpy. I rise and fell, i went against my selfish dad alot. Thanks to him I am who I am now. I may have lost my confidence, but I still will remain hoping and fighting for the world where Love is a religion.I hope to restore the faith I have in the Lord, and make him proud of his children. I hope I get back my influence so I can continue to paint pictures of a world of Love in peoples minds.....